Answer

Grief is not only an emotional process, but a physical one. Our bodies do not know the difference between a physical trauma and an emotional one. So, one thing we can do as we grieve is to honor both our emotional and our physical needs. In a nutshell, it’s important to get more water, more rest, good nutrition, gentle movement to break up the stress, and deep breaths.

Did you know that dehydration (and subsequent thirst) is a common experience as we grieve? Experiencing grief is likened to running a marathon. Just like a marathon runner who needs more water to meet the body’s increased need, you need more water to hydrate your body and help it meet its increased demands during the challenge.

Fatigue is also a symptom of grief. Just as we feel more tired when we have the flu (because we need to slow down in order to heal), in grief our bodies also signals us to slow down so that we can begin the healing process. Finding time to rest or nap, if possible, during our grief is so important. Holidays may be demanding, but create an opportunity whenever you can to honor your body’s need for rest. This may require enlisting the help of others to create an opportunity for you to nap or “sleep in” a bit.

Being mindful of eating nutritiously is also important, even though we may either have no appetite or be prone to overeat out of stress. Give your body the fuel it needs to take on additional tasks during the holidays while dealing with your emotional pain. Eat small nutritious snacks throughout the day, even if it means keeping some on hand in your car or workplace.

Your body also experiences the effects of tension and stress, so working out the tension through exercise and gentle stretches is important. This may not be by getting a full “workout” in, but through brisk walks, yoga or swimming, for example. Massages are also a wonderful way to work out the tension and stress in our bodies.

Finally, because we all tend to be unaware that we breathe shallowly (and even hold our breaths) when we’re stressed, getting deep breaths as often as possible is important. Unsure how? Put your hand on your diaphragm (just under your ribcage). Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Your hand should rise up and down with your breaths. In shallow breathing, our chest rises and falls. Try getting 10 deep breaths in whenever you feel tense, lightheaded, or simply catch yourself holding your breath. It’s a simple way to get your body the oxygen it needs to help you move through your difficult moments.